My sister and I don’t have an ordinary dad, we have an extraordinary dad. And because of that, we don’t just call him dad, he’s Papamo. My Papamo is a bearded, biker, baker, who has been in a band since I can remember and my sister and I have always been his biggest fans. Although, I do admit that there were times (during those magical hormonal daughter years) when I would have preferred being dropped off a country club block early from that big brown truck that shook the street piloted by my father in his overalls and straw hat smoking a pipe. But I wish I could slap my younger self because now I wish I could bring Papamo everywhere. It may have taken me a while to get cool, but Papamo has always been cool. I’m lucky to call him dad and for him to have bestowed on me all of his great wisdom. Here are just some of things Papamo has taught me…
- Ketchup is the only acceptable condiment, except for mustard which was invented for hot dogs
- Hot dogs are a food group
- Beards are functional (warmth, food catcher, conversation starter, way to make friends at a bar)
- A good way to tolerate a house full of girls is to have a studio outside, hair as long as them, and confide in a 150 pound male Bullmastiff
- If a mexican restaurant doesn’t give free chips and salsa, you shouldn’t be eating there
- Fajitas should come out sizzlin’
- Overalls will never go out of style
- Mayo is poison
- That you should always wait a few decades before getting a tattoo
- Practicing the piano does not involve crying
- Pizza is a pie that should only be served thin and greasy
- How to check my car’s oil, although I still always have him do it
- That the only doctor’s opinion that matters is Dr. John
- Even the toughest biker needs his beard braided for him sometimes
- The best way to save money is to bury it and not be able to find it again
- A peace sign is just a Mercedes sign without the extra line
- How to drive a stick shift (I can’t believe we spoke again after that lesson)
- To always prepare for the worst because then when it doesn’t happen you feel lucky
- Y2K could have happened
- It’s not appropiate to call people “you people”
- Some people and situations are just “unbelievable”
- Accordions can be cool
- Laissez les bons temps rouler!
- Mean people suck
- Don’t sweat the small stuff, unless the small stuff has potential to turn into big stuff, which it most likely does
- “You’ll live”
- It doesn’t matter if you know the words to the song as long as everyone thinks you do
- Dress in leather, but have a heart of cashmere
- On the highway of life, watch out for motorcycles
Thank you for being the kindest, coolest, and best dad ever. Everyone always said I look just like you and I like that – I just hope my beard comes in as nicely as yours some day.