Going to the movies proves to be just about as infuriating as any other NYC outing. Last night we had a little date night to go see the Avengers and it turns out the real villains who need avenging are the Manhattan movie goers.

The crowd was full of the same cast of characters from such productions as the subway, Penn Station, and most sidewalks. There was a good mix of hipsters, gangsters, could be molesters and loud mouth east coasters. It was clear that none of these people really wanted to coexist together (or maybe it was just me). Couples were sitting in inconsiderate patterns making a quick and painless boarding impossible. If we were a Southwest flight, we would have never taken off. The man behind me even put his coat on the chair next to me to save for his viewing pleasure (which, I wasn’t too mad about). The seating discourtesies left the leaders of groups looking for seats having to direct people like a bunch of kindergarteners getting ready to take a class photo.

Once everyone was seated, the chaos didn’t stop. We were surrounded by the chattiest people imaginable. There was the woman who needed to let her friend know that she knew what’s next before what’s next. If you know, why are you here? And more importantly, why is your friend your friend? There were also some vocal teenagers who were so excited for this after years and years of not reading the comic books. And then there were the lovebirds who kept each other in a headlock the entire time, and while they were quiet, I was just as annoyed.

My favorite, however, were the two older men who spent the first 15 minutes trying to figure out if we were in 3D, 2D or just regular D. Once they decided that they were not having a three-dimensional experience, one made sure to point out whenever there was a special effect by saying, “That was a special effect.” And you know what? He was right. Every. Time. That was a special effect because Manhattan was not harmed in the making of this movie. In between the special effects, I could not escape the sound of one of the two gentlemen sucking what I’m going to assume was popcorn remains from his teeth…which remained stuck for two hours and 22 minutes.

I am admittedly anxiety stricken at times, which can make me irrationally irritable. In this scenario I found myself really trying to hold back my own little Hulk. However, I resisted and kept reminding myself in the darkness that I am in NYC, not Boulder, and any confrontation would probably only get me in a worse situation. Although I did continue to do my annoyed head jerk, which I don’t know why I think that someone who has no respect for my movie experience would notice that I’m having frustration induced neck spasms, or care.

Despite our company, the movie was fantastic. I am not usually too fond of comic book movies, as Spider-man is just an emo kid in a leotard and the most recent Batman was just far too breathy, but I will say Avengers was worthy of my anxiety attack (from what I did hear).