Every city that I have called home comes with a population of people without one. Homeless people are more than just street and bench warmers, they are truly a reflection of the city they are in. Here are my bum findings.
The Boulder Bum. This bum is unusually happy – like everyone else in this city. They have witty signs, dogs, and they sport the same look as some of the city’s wealthy occupants. I’ve seen the same bums in Boulder since I was kid, so they must be doing something right. The city treats them well with constant sunlight, never ending paths, and there’s even a chance the homeless shelters are stocked with organic snacks. Begging must be a lot easier when surrounded by a crowd of morally conscious and considerate people. Whether a college kid, a hippie, or living on Pearl Street Boulder is a great place to bum around.
The Denver Bum. A little less obscurely happy than the Boulder Bum, but a pleasantly aggressive social butterfly. They like to talk, shake hands, and ride the free mall ride for days. Getting hit on by a bum in Denver is common and definitely never flattering. Begging usually turns conversational, like every interaction with people in Denver. The conversation usually switches into “let’s make a deal” and if you give a dollar, you might as well be feeding a flock of pigeons. Denver seems like a nice place to be a bum. There is a cement park by Coors Field for various bum club activities and if a political convention comes to town the mayor will set you up some place nice and out of sight.
The Chicago Bum. Actually I don’t remember the bums in Chicago. Maybe it’s the bummer weather. Have you ever tried holding onto a shopping cart in the wind? It can’t be easy. The only bum I recall was the “happy whatever day it is” guy and he was always off one or two days. He was relatively pleasant and only a little loud, just like Chicago.
The NYC Bum. Just like the city, homeless people here are a lot more in your face. The bum rush here is as intense as rush hour. These bums aren’t afraid to shower on the subway, make a public cry for help, or create an exhibit out of their wound that needed hydrogen peroxide a decade ago. In a city full of aspiring actors, the bums also seem to be a little more dramatic. These bums are ruthless and go for the extreme scare or sympathy tactic for donations. While others seem to have just sat down with no intention of ever getting up -which sometimes seems like a pretty reasonable thing to do in this city. Bums are inavoidable here and a lot like Starbuck’s – on every corner.
The Park City bum. I’ll let you know when I find one. They must be ski bums.
This is in no way intended to offend or dehumanize our charitable street people, these are merely observations. All proceeds from this post will go to bums.