{"id":2814,"date":"2013-01-01T21:33:59","date_gmt":"2013-01-01T21:33:59","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bottomless.flywheelsites.com\/?p=2814"},"modified":"2014-10-15T19:33:33","modified_gmt":"2014-10-15T19:33:33","slug":"oh-hi-2013","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/?p=2814","title":{"rendered":"OH. IT&#8217;S YOU, 2013"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Another year, another <a title=\"The Holiday Fat Trap\" href=\"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/?p=1285\">holiday fat trap<\/a>. Every year, New Year\u2019s Day veers its ugly, judgmental face and I find myself sitting myself down and giving myself the imminent intervention. As I hold back the tears and try to resist, I have to give in and just like that: it\u2019s back to rehab. I have spent the last two blissful months on a bender, pretending I didn\u2019t care that my clothes were getting tighter and not thinking twice about butter, as I sing, &#8220;Don we now our loosest apparel fa fa fa fa fa, at at at at.&#8221; \u00a0But as I swim into 2013 as a whale, it\u2019s time to face resolutions. It&#8217;s time to trade in apple pie for an apple, candy for tic tacs, and sparkling wine for sparkling water (whine).<\/p>\n<p><em>Dick Clark&#8217;s New Year&#8217;s Rockin&#8217; Eve with Ryan Seacrest<\/em> (DCNYRERS) called out &#8220;weight loss&#8221; as America&#8217;s number one resolution, so I am going to try to be less predictable than Justin Bieber and Taylor Swift performing last night. As my body goes into shock, I am also going to take on some other resolutions to distract me from skinny girl pains:<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Overcome my fear of being poisoned by household products somehow finding their way into my water<\/li>\n<li>Drink more water (once I overcome prior resolution)<\/li>\n<li>Learn how to both hold and clean a knife without severing my fingers<\/li>\n<li>Stop saying or texting the word \u201cugh\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Start showering on weekends<\/li>\n<li>Start wearing something other than sweat pants to the grocery store<\/li>\n<li>Start going to the grocery store for more than one item at a time<\/li>\n<li>Stop taking \u00a0photos of myself to access my appearance, or at least stop getting caught taking &#8220;selfies&#8221;<\/li>\n<li>Stop looking at the wedding photos of people I don&#8217;t know on Facebook<\/li>\n<li>Stop pinning things to secret pin boards on Pinterest<\/li>\n<li>Stop pinning anything to Pinterest, unless I actually have an intention of using it<\/li>\n<li>Get rid of the dozen email addresses I have that I don&#8217;t use (after I figure out the passwords)<\/li>\n<li>Stop thinking I will remember strange passwords I come up with<\/li>\n<li>Stop thinking I will remember strange places I put things for safe keeping<\/li>\n<li>Write more meaningful blog posts<\/li>\n<li>Write more pointless blog posts<\/li>\n<li>Take down the Christmas tree at some point this year<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>Happy New Year everybody and make the mimosa 2013!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>new year&#8217;s day showed up to ruin all of my fun.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5369,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[174,1,33],"tags":[232,81,101,231,230],"class_list":["post-2814","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-just-saying","category-uncategorized","category-play","tag-diet","tag-holiday","tag-new-years","tag-nye","tag-resolutions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2814","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2814"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2814\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/5369"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2814"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2814"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2814"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}