{"id":1989,"date":"2012-02-02T21:10:13","date_gmt":"2012-02-02T21:10:13","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/bottomless.flywheelsites.com\/?p=1989"},"modified":"2014-10-15T21:07:03","modified_gmt":"2014-10-15T21:07:03","slug":"my-real-resume","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/?p=1989","title":{"rendered":"MY REAL RESUME"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I feel as though I am constantly updating and tweaking my resume in order to paint the best picture of myself professionally. \u00a0Writing down my experiences on one piece of paper is somewhat discouraging. Is this really an account of everything I\u2019ve accomplished and all of the obstacles I\u2019ve overcome during the last 27 years? Hardly. I decided to make a more colorful life experience resume.<\/p>\n<h3>KJ<\/h3>\n<hr \/>\n<p><strong>EXPERIENCE:<\/strong><br \/>\n<strong>Boulder, Colorado<\/strong> Oct 1984 &#8211; Jun 2007<br \/>\nChild, Teenager, College Student<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Functioned well at an altitude of 5,430 feet and mastered breathing almost five times less than a person from a lower altitude and developed abundant red blood cells<\/li>\n<li>Became\u00a0 skilled at skiing, driving in snow and parallel parking<\/li>\n<li>Acquired directional awareness by using\u00a0 either \u201ctoward the mountains\u201d or \u201caway from the mountains\u201d<\/li>\n<li>Expanded the wearing of flip flops to year round<\/li>\n<li>Skilled in recycling with knowledge in commingled, compost, and paper recyclables<\/li>\n<li>Proud Buff while CU was rated \u201cNumber 1 Party School\u201d, as well as an avid supporter of the \u201cWin or Lose, We Still Booze\u201d CU chapter and the \u201cRam This\u201d campaign<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Denver, Colorado<\/strong> Jun 2007 &#8211; Sept 2008 \/ Sept 2010 &#8211; Mar 2011<br \/>\nPost College Student \/ Wanderer<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Found employment with a bachelor degree in Fine Arts<\/li>\n<li>Resided in four different apartment complexes, all within a mile of each other<\/li>\n<li>Operated my SUV safely and efficiently from downtown to the mountains while always displaying proper snow tires<\/li>\n<li>Displayed capabilities of locating drink specials and drinking all night and staying under budget<\/li>\n<li>Located the best green chili and implemented this knowledge frequently<\/li>\n<li>Advanced\u00a0from\u00a0 drinking establishments in Lodo to those in\u00a0Uptown and\u00a0 Highlands, while still maintaining connections with Tavern\u2019s rooftop and other key distributors<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>Chicago, Illinois<\/strong> Sept 2008 &#8211; Sept 2010<br \/>\nYoung Adult, Part Time<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Endured life in Wrigleyville and became a ruthless street parker<\/li>\n<li>Survived the coldest winter in 30 years and battled habitually frozen pipes<\/li>\n<li>Gained wind management skills including the El platform stance, utilization of a sleeping bag coat, and knowledge of streets to avoid that possess the wind tunnel effect<\/li>\n<li>Showed ambition on sunny days that required early and excessive drinking<\/li>\n<li>Maintained positive\u00a0Cubs outlook with\u00a0devout celebrations during both wins and losses<\/li>\n<li>Perfected my\u00a0signature dance move at Spy Bar<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>New York, New York<\/strong> Mar 2011 &#8211; PRESENT<br \/>\nProfessional, Struggling \u201cblogger\u201d<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Daily subway commutes to work with over 500 successful trips<\/li>\n<li>Effective use of iPhone applications in becoming un-lost in the city<\/li>\n<li>Manages finances in a high-cost environment with a low budget by looking for value (street trash shopping) and by planning ahead (not planning vacations)<\/li>\n<li>Utilizes minimal space with effective organizational skills<\/li>\n<li>Developing a tough exterior and effective all-kind-of-people skills<\/li>\n<li>Shows improvement<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><strong>SKILLS:<\/strong><\/p>\n<ul>\n<li>Proficient in mimosas<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A brief written account of my most notable life experiences.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4493,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1,5,33,16],"tags":[388,52,70,59,392,50,73,75,385,18,62,54,69,387],"class_list":["post-1989","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-uncategorized","category-nyc","category-play","category-work","tag-boulder","tag-briana","tag-cocktails","tag-college","tag-colorado","tag-cu","tag-east-coasters","tag-new-yorkers","tag-nyc","tag-pick-me-ups","tag-sts","tag-subway","tag-transportation","tag-work"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1989"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1989\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/4493"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1989"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1989"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bottomlessmimosa.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1989"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}