young adult? more like old kid

NYC psychologist Daniel Levinson suggested that the first phase of early adulthood comes to a close around twenty-eight. He states that, “At about 28 the provisional character of the twenties is ending and life is becoming more serious.” At the ripe age of 27, I firmly believe that I am still in my mid twenties. My rule stands: you don’t get late until 28. And next year’s rule: I’m fine until 29. Both are cute and charming and make me feel young. Regardless, I am no way near my ‘serious’ years. I am and have been a young adult for several years, but I don’t feel very adult-y. I have reasons to think that maybe I am just an old kid.

• I have a 401K but am not really sure how it works
• I have a personal assistant and her name is “Mom, help.”
• I take gummy vitamins
• I eat  more than the gummy vitamin dose because they’re so delicious
• I call my mom before I call the doctor
• I have never done my own taxes
• I don’t intend on doing my taxes myself  any time soon
• I know I have student loans but I don’t know where they are hiding
• I have a credit card at every store I’ve every shopped at
• I regularly pay a fee for not having enough money in my savings
• I wait to get new underwear until Christmas
• I shop at H&M and Forever 21 for corporate attire
• I’m on a family phone plan with my parents
• I can’t (won’t) check my oil
• I don’t buy groceries
• I lock myself out regularly
• I get 90% of my news from Facebook
• LinkedIn is just a less fun Facebook
• I refuse to call myself a young professional
• I still have no preference on liquor
• I call my mom for advice on everything (checking if food has gone bad, how to boil an egg, or to see if I  just got poisoned)
• I can’t do laundry without shrinking or tinting
• My socks are usually mismatched
• I buy clothes that don’t wrinkle to avoid ironing
• My wrinkles are from whining not aging
• I have to be reminded to shower
• If I’m at the grocery store too long I have a temper tantrum

These things slightly worry me, because maybe I am a full-blown adult. Am I just a very dysfunctional adult? Or maybe, I am just a recovering high maintenance daughter? Are there meetings for that?